Canis Major
by Laser Lance 720
Summary: Its the ten year anniversary of James and Lily's death, and all Sirius can do is sit in his cell and reminiscent on what was.


Written for **Transfiguration Class** (Write about one of the known animagus using their animagus form), **Greek Mythology** (Andromeda: Write about being imprisoned for something that wasn't their fault), **Disney Character** (Kenai: Write about someone's animagus form and why they changed to that animal), **The 'As Many As You Want'** (Color – Sirius Black – Marauders – Lily – "Run! Get out of here" – Werewolf – Dragon – Mirror – James Potter/Lily Evans), Variety of Prompts (Location #5 Azkaban, Occasion: #7 Anniversary (of anything)), **Year Long Story Count**

-oOo-  
>-oOo-<br>-oOo-

He had all but forgotten the feeling of warmth. The light of color. The touch of friendship. He'd all but forgotten what it meant to be alive. To be human really.

But he hadn't forgotten the day. Even lost in the darkness of Azkaban, Sirius Black still knew what day it was. He'd etched the tally marks into the walls of his cells. Carved a slash through the brick with each passing sunset that he would never see. And even if he hadn't, he still would have known simply by the gut wrenching feeling of loss that took to him every time this year.

October 31.

The anniversary of James and Lily's death. The day of his friend's betrayal. The day of his imprisonment. It was the day, ten years ago, whenever Sirius had given up entirely.

The feeling of despair that took over him increased ever so greatly. Looking up through the ratted mess of his hair, Sirius caught the movement of torn cloaks before they were upon him. He transformed quickly, not really sure why he was still fighting it, but knowing that he had to. Where there had been crouching a dirt covered man, with stringy black hair and dead set eyes, now lay a mangy black dog with equally dead eyes.

The dementors passed over his cell, not paying any mind to the animal. Even after it was gone, Sirius didn't change back. Instead he lay there, his tail swishing slowly against the dirt covered floor. He remembered a time when he'd love to be in this form. A time when he, along with his best friends, would laugh at the antics they got up to. The trouble that would be caused. But now, now the form was just a cruel reminder of the family he had lost.

As the resonating feeling of depression which followed the dementors fell away, Sirius couldn't stop himself from slipping into past memories.

-oOo-

_"__I think I got it." James' voice rang through their dorm room._

_The boys all looked up from what they had been doing – in the case of Sirius and Remus playing a game of wizard's chess, and for Peter it was eating a chocolate frog – and stared at their young friend in confusion. James didn't let their expressions stop him as he climbed off the bed and motioned for the others to join him at the center of their dorm. They did as such, all gathering around the large book which lay open on the floor. _

_"__Is this homework?" Sirius sniffed as he eyed the book. The twelve year old glared deeply at the words, remembering the pile of homework he still needed to bribe someone into doing. _

_"__God no." James chuckled. "Why would I be doing homework?"_

_"__Because you're supposed to. It's important to your grade." The sigh in Remus' voice did not go unnoticed. "Now what's so important?"_

_"__I found the answer to," James paused for a minute, trying to pick the right words. He watched Remus out of the corner of his eye, and smiled. "Your furry problem."_

_Remus glared slightly. "I don't like you calling it that."_

_"__I thought we were calling it his womanly cycle?" Sirius leaned forward, careful not to touch the book. He sat back down at the look on Remus' face. "You know. Once a month. Satanic uprising and – "_

_"__I get it." Remus couldn't hide the grin at his friend's antics. "I'm a werewolf. I'm glad you guys can joke about this."_

_"__I think we're getting off track." Peter piped in, his speech curbed slightly by the food in his mouth. _

_"__Thank you Peter." Said James. "Now, back to what I was saying. I found the answer."_

_"__And what is that?" Remus asked, unsure if he really wanted to know what his eccentric friend had come up with._

_"__Remus' furry problem is only dangerous to people right? To humans?" With the nod of agreement to the other, James pressed on a bit more confident. "So it's simple. We stop being human."_

_"__Do I have to sell my soul for this?" Sirius spoke out. He looked over to their smallest friend, and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Cause don't get me wrong Rem, I like you and all, but I don't know if I'm good on that."_

_"__You don't have to sell your soul." James rolled his eyes. "Why would you even think that?"_

_"__I don't know." Sirius shrugged. He reached over to Peter's pile of treats, and took one of the frogs. With a smile to his friend, he began to open the wrapper. "I grew up with a lot of dark magic at home. And that's how it always starts."_

_James didn't know rather to laugh or smack his friend. But as Sirius popped the chocolate piece into his mouth, he gave a small chuckle and continued on. Pointing to the book that lay in front of them, James looked up at the group. "Have you guys ever heard of an animagus?"_

_A chore of 'no's' filled the air. _

_"__It's really simple." James started slow. "An animagus is someone who can turn into an animal."_

_"__A transfiguration spell?" _

_"__No." James shock his head. "An actual animal. Here, look here in the book. It says that a person can become an animagus, and it's basically them becoming the animal, but still knowing who they are. We'll have to learn how to do it, it can't be that hard, but whenever we do, we can keep an eye on Remus when he goes all wolf pack. And he won't hurt us."_

_"__Let me see this." Remus reached out and took the book in hand. "Where did you even find this?"_

_"__Third years learning about them." James answered, taking one of the chocolate frogs for himself. "I heard some girls in the library talking about it. So I checked out the text book. Turns out there's more on it in the restricted section. I'm gunna ask Professor McGonagall for a pass tomorrow to get in there."_

_"__And how are you gunna do that?" Sirius drew his eyes away from the book in order to look at James._

_"__Tell her I want to do that extra credit of hers. She's sure to give me a pass."_

_"__This isn't going to be as easy as you think." Remus set the book down. "It sounds like pretty complex magic. You forget, we're only second years."_

_"__It's says it's illegal." Peter chimed in. "Right here. Says that you have to be requested or something. Or you get fined or thrown in Azkaban."_

_"__We'll deal with that when we get to it." James took the book onto his lap. "But it's the perfect plan."_

_"__I don't know." Remus eyed them each. "It sounds pretty dangerous. I appreciate the thought, really, but I don't want you guys getting hurt or in trouble because of me."_

_"__Shut up Remus." Sirius threw an arm around his friend, smiling like a mad hatter. "I'm all for it. Let's take a vote. All for joining Remus' herd?"_

_Three hands shot up into the air._

_"__Vote taken." James closed the book. "I'll get the book tomorrow."_

_"__Alright." Remus gave in. "Just promise me you guys will be careful. Please."_

_"__Of course." Sirius answered the same time as the others. Remus didn't look convinced but gave in. "Now, place the bets, what do think I'll become."_

_"__You are too excited about this?" Remus muttered, but his taunts were unheard._

_"__Probably something gross." James chuckled. "With the way you look, I'll say a flobberworm."_

_"__Haha." Sirius pushed his friend. "I'll match your gnome then. Peter can be a ghoul. The four of us will make one ugly set."_

_"__I wanna be a dragon." Peter muttered. "That would be cool."_

_"__Kind of hard to hide though." Remus pointed out. "I think someone might notice a dragon wandering about."_

_"__I guess." Peter sighed. "It still would be cool."_

_"__Well we'll find out." James shrugged as a yawn over took him. "I says it's time for bed though. We have potions in the morning."_

_The group muttered agreement, all moving to gather up their things for the night. Remus didn't budge though, only glared slightly at his friend. "And it's called a pack. Not a herd."_

-oOo-

The book spoke of the dangerous that could come should one stay in their form for too long. And the group had heeded that warning, only changing to help Remus, and the occasional prank or two, and the one drunken misshap at Hogsmead. But as his time in the cell increased, Sirius stopped minding the danger so much.

While in that form, it was his only release. The dementors never bothered him. The other inmates all thought they were going crazy at the sight of the dog, and never spoke of it. Many thought they were seeing the Grim and refused to look at him. But most around him were empty shells, the carcasses left from a dementors kiss so they paid him no mind.

Still, Sirius worried for the day when his secret would be revealed. The guards would take precaution against it. They might just send a swarm of dementors into the cell to finish him off there.

The thought of being unable to ever transform again was a chilling. Sirius was a little surprised that when it came down to it, losing that freedom scared him more than the thought of losing his life, his soul. But they had already taken those last two things hadn't they. All he had left was that animagus, and the memories that came with it.

-oOo-

_"__We're finally ready." _

_It was just three words. But it was three words the group had been waiting nearly three years to hear. As they gathered around one another in dingy room in the Shrieking Shack, spirits were high and excitement was plenty._

_"__And you guys are sure of this?" Remus asked from his spot onto a forgotten desk. "I don't want you lot getting hurt."_

_"__Oh will you be quiet Moony." Sirius waved off the teen. "We came this far, we aren't backing down now."_

_James nodded. "Who wants to go first?"_

_"__Go for it great leader." Sirius plopped into a chair. "This was your plan. Its only right you go first."_

_"__I agree." Peter nodded along, taking up a safe distance away._

_"__Plus," the dangerous smirk on Sirius' lips was present, "if anything goes wrong, it's not that great of a loss."_

_"__You're funny." James rolled his eyes. "Okay. We'll here goes nothing."_

_James shock off his shoulders, his face twisted with concentration. Sirius watched with amazement as James slowly began to transform. The group had spent a year researching, a year mastering the mental discipline needed, and the final year slowly progressing the transformation. All done in secret of course. By the time they reached this stage, all of them had managed to transform each part of their body. All that was left was the fully body, which had been saved for tonight. _

_It wasn't long until the place were James stood, was now home to a proud deer. The creature watched them with humor in his eyes. He shock himself to fix his fur, and stomped at the ground twice._

_"__Here it is, a deer." Remus's voice drew their attention. Glancing over at him, the werewolf was stationed on the desk, the book of spirit animals they brought with them on his lap. His finger trailed over the text. "A deer is an animal of gentleness and grace, as well as great assurance and sensitivity. Those with this animal are known for their innocents, inspiration, energy, and ability to adapt to what comes. Their greatest values are love for friends and family."_

_Sirius broke out into laughter as he turned to James, who was now back in human form. "You have a girl animagus."_

_"__I think it's sexy." James countered. "Better than yours."_

_"__Whatever makes you feel better." Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Bambi."_

_"__What's Bambi?" Peter asked._

_"__It's this weird Muggle movie." Sirius answered. "About a little deer. Lily loves it. She made me and James watch it over Easter break."_

_"__It was pretty good." James added. "Now, come on Peter. Your turn."_

_"__Alright." Peter didn't seem as confident about this as James did, but he took his place at the center of the room. It took nearly two minutes of silence before Peter was able to fully transform. _

_"__A mouse," Remus began to read, "is a creature of great detail and awareness. They are known for their stealth, quietness, resourcefulness and focus. Those with this animal are commonly shy, and timid, especially in times of stress, but often compensate through their adaptability and determination. They are well grounded, modest, and quick to understand things. They finding meaning in peace and easiness, and do not wish to bring about conflict."_

_"__Cool." Peter said as he turned back to normal and reached into the bags of snacks. _

_"__Its suits you well me friend." James clapped him on the back. _

_"__Definitely cooler than a deer." Sirius added, earning a slight glare from James._

_"__Your turn Sirius." Remus called over._

_Without a word, Sirius took the spot where Peter had been standing. A deep breath overtook him as he began to focus. He could feel his body beginning to shift under his command. It was a strange feeling, but one that he welcomed. After all the times he'd practiced this, a full body transformation was nothing like making a paw. It was freeing, and exciting. As he shifted and shrunk, dropping down onto all fours and feeling the weight of fur on his body, Sirius wondered why everyone didn't do this._

_Once he was fully transformed, he looked at his reflection in a cracked mirror. His fur was sleek and black, and shined with a luster. He stood proud, just a tad larger than an average dog. Startling black eyes flashed about with an intelligent gleam._

_"__A dog," Remus' voice filled his ears, "is the most loyal, and noble of creatures. They are kind, gentle, and fierce protectors. Those with the dog as their inner animal are those who are loyal and always truthful with themselves. They embody great love and humanity, as well as compassion. Likewise, they are trustworthy, intelligent and value friendship above all else."_

_It took several seconds for Sirius to turn back into human. The change back to the normal was easier that the change from, but as Sirius stood there, shacking out his long black locks, he found that turning into an animagus was much more fun than turning back from. _

_"__What a dog." Peter grinned._

_"__Catch." James tossed one of the ice mice treats to him. The Black boy caught it, and smiled gratefully as he opened the package. "Now bring it back like a good puppy."_

_"__Watch it you two." Sirius waved the bag at his two friends. "Dogs are predators. Keep it up and I might just have to try my hand at hunting."_

_"__It's kind of ironic don't you think." Remus spoke up as he put the book away. _

_"__What is?" Sirius inquired, tossing the bags on snacks at the teen._

_Remus caught the bag and set it beside him. "That your animagus form is a dog."_

_"__Is this a joke on whenever McKinnon called me a dog last week?" Sirius asked. "Because I know she wants me. She just won't admit it."_

_"__Not that." Remus shock his head. "I'm talking about your name. The constellation Canis Major, the Greater Dog. Or the Dog Star. It's called Sirius. Your name is basically Dog Black. So when you think about it…"_

_"__Oh." It clicked for Sirius and he let out a single chuckle. "That kind of sucks."_

-oOo-

Sirius sometimes wondered if it's the animagus form itself that keeps the dementors away, or the memories that came with it. Either way, it was something that was keeping the creatures at bay, and Sirius wasn't going to complain about that. It was just another reason to stay in the form longer than was probably healthy.

While he may have been able to know the date, Sirius wasn't very good at keeping track of the time. He only knew the day started with the arrival of breakfast, and noon would bring a tray of food to his cell. Dinner would be a chance to leave the cubicle and he'd have a few hours to stretch and move about. Of course, in solitary confinement, he wasn't really given the option to get out and stretch often.

The dementors he had realized, came around with a schedule as well. He'd had years to map all this out, and he knew a rough time line of when to shift out of his animagus form as to not get caught. But for the actual time of day, Sirius didn't really know. It was a guessing game.

With that thought on his mind, the food materialized on the small table to his left. He had once wondered if the prison used the same system that Hogwarts had when it came to preparing food. That down somewhere there was a line of trays that the food would be put on, and it would then travel to the correct cell, just as the kitchen at Hogwarts had the tables linked with those of the Great Hall. He had stopped caring though how the food got there.

Rising slowly, Sirius shifted back into human form before dropping into the rickety chair. They didn't give the prisoners a fork with their cell meals, as some time ago the utensil had been used in an escape attempt, or a suicide, or a murder. He didn't know, the rumor changed constantly.

He picked up the sandwich, more bread than meat, and bite into it. The thing tasted of sand and dirt. Everything tasted of sand and dirt. He set the sandwich down, thinking of the last time he'd eaten something that was truly good. In coincidence, he believed it was the last time he'd laughed and been truly happy as well.

-oOo-

_"__It's good to see you Padfoot." By this point, the man who had spoken was more of a brother than just a friend to Sirius. "It really has been too long."_

_"__It's only been a week, James." Sirius chuckled as he pulled the man into a hug. "If I didn't know better, I would think you had a small obsession. It's totally cool if you fancy me. Everyone does."_

_"__You are such a berk." James ruffled the taller man's hair as they broke apart. "I am glad to see you're okay."_

_"__It was a minor scuffle." Sirius brushed it off. "Now, where's that lovely wife of yours? And my Godson?"_

_"__In the living room, with Remus. Come on, we've been waiting."_

_"__Is Peter here?"_

_"__No." James shock his head. "He got a hold of me. He's sick. Said he'd been here if he could."_

_"__Just sick?" Sirius got a little worried for a moment. He thought it was a smart idea for them to have switched the role of Secret keeper onto Peter, but now every time the chubby man called sick or got injured, it sent Sirius into a panic that it was something worst. He tried to calm the fear though, knowing that the man was safe. No one would think to attack him. Or even look for him. But the fear still itched at him._

_"__He's sick." James replied. "I went over earlier. A really bad cold. Some Pepper-Up potion and he'll be right as rain by tonight." _

_"__What took you so long Sirius?" The light female voice graced their ears as they entered the front room. The two men looked over to Lily sitting on the couch, baby Harry bouncing on her knee. Remus sat across from her, and smiled up at the two who entered._

_"__If I knew you lot would miss me this much, I would have come by sooner." Sirius stepped into the room and made his way to Lily. "Now, give me my baby."_

_"__He's not your baby." James rolled his eyes._

_"__He's all of ours kid." Sirius countered. "Hi Harry. How are you today, Champ?"_

_"__Un'le Padfoo'!" The baby giggled._

_"__You need to teach him new words." Sirius glanced at Lily and James before turning his attention back onto the child. He couldn't help but to smile at the little boy. _

_"__We're working on it." Lily smiled. "Now, you look a bit thin. When did you last eat?"_

_Sirius chuckled. "You are such a mother hen." _

_"__I will take that as a complement." Lily spoke. "I've got some pie in the kitchen. You want a slice?"_

_"__Blueberry?"_

_"__Of course."_

_"__I'll take a slice. Thanks." Sirius nodded as she walked from the room. Turning to the two men, he frowned slightly and bounced the baby on his hip once. "Did you two hear about Dorcas?"_

_Both nodded, but it was Remus who spoke. "Mad-Eye says that You-Know-Who went after her personally."_

_"__I didn't believe it at first." James sighed heavily as he sat in an armchair. "The old bat seemed immortal. And after what happened with Fabian and Gideon. How's Molly doing by the way? I haven't spoken to her since the funeral."_

_"__She's doing as well as can be expected." Remus answered. "The kids keep her busy and her mind off it though."_

_"__Here we go." Lily returned to the room. She traded Sirius the pie for the baby boy. Little harry giggled once in his mother's arms and began to play with her hair. "Now, enough talk of sadness. It's a good day. We are all safe, and warm, and Halloween is tomorrow. Let's enjoy the peace while we have it."_

_Baby Harry gurgled in agreement and fought to be free of his mother's arm. Once sat on the floor, the child scampered off towards the poor cat, who let out a hiss of fear before scurrying away. Sirius could only laugh as he watched the scene._

_His enjoyment was cast aside as he spotted the photo the child ran behind. It seemed so long ago that the photo had been taken. Mid July if he remembered right. But as he looked at the faces smiling back, it felt like a life time ago._

_Even though the thing was a small distance away, he could still make out the faces. Marlene McKinnon was a face he would never forget. He was going to ask that girl to marry him before her death. Just a bit away from where she stood, he could make out Edgar Bones and his wife; that whole family blown away just a few months ago. Dorcas Meadowes stood proudly at the front of the photo, but she too was now gone. Fabian and Gideon Prewett were off in the corner, smiling and joking with one another. Sirius had once met their nephews, Molly's little Fred and George, and he was glad to see that the brother's love for trouble making was passed onto the twin toddlers. _

_So many faces in that photo were now long gone. He hadn't seen the Longbottom family since they'd been forced into hiding the same time as the Potter's. Dumbledore was so often busy that he rarely made it around. Caradoc Dearborn had been missing for two months now, and Sirius wasn't putting any money on him coming back. They still hadn't found all of Benjy Fenwick. Peter was sick more often than healthy it seemed, and Remus' transformations were taking the toll on him, even with the wolfsbane. _

_Looking over at the Potter family, Sirius realized that very little happiness was left for the Order. They were barely hanging on._

_Picking up the sound of laughter coming from the small family, Sirius tried to shake the sinking depression. He dug the fork into his pie, and brought a piece to his lip. If there was anything he loved, it was Lily's blueberry pies, but even this couldn't shake the deep residing anxiety he felt._

-oOo-

Sirius wished that he had known than what he knew now. Maybe he could have stopped it. Done something differently. If he had only gone to Peter's that night before going home. He could have uncovered the rat's treason. Warned the Potter's before it had been too late.

But the game of 'What If' would get him nowhere. He'd played it so much during his first few months here. He'd pleaded with people to listen to him, to hear the truth he'd so desperately tried to tell. But nothing changed this fate. No one listened to his pleas, and every scenario that Sirius came up with for that dreaded night always seemed to end the same. He could never same them.

The building of bile in his throat forced him to drop the sandwich. Leaning back, he watched the door of his cell, eyes trained on the bared window for any movement. The feeling of despair set over the hall, and he knew he needed to change back if he wanted to keep out of the dementors sights. But as he sat there, his mind drifting in and out of the past, Sirius couldn't really move.

He allowed the memories to overtake him.

-oOo-

_The sight of the house had crushed him. He should have known this was happening. When he'd went to Peter's home, and found the man missing, he knew something bad had happened. But the sight of the Potter's house was not what he expected. _

_The top floor was nearly completely gone. Burn marks took to much of the wood, and the door hung on a single hinge. He could swear that he heard a baby crying from the destruction, and without thought, or concern for himself, Sirius rushed into the home._

_James was the first sight to greet him. His best friend lay unmoving on the front room floor. His eyes were wide, glasses hanging off his nose. Fear and anger was etched into his face. His wand lay out of reach. _

_Sirius knew that he had to get away. He couldn't stay there and watch._

_It was the sound of a child's crying that pulled Sirius onwards. The stairs were leaning, but he made it there without problem. The door to the nursery was blown to bits, and a cold air rushed through. Stepping into the little boy's bedroom, Sirius felt his heart shatter further. The back wall was no longer standing, the cold Halloween air finding its way though. Toys and a little child's broom lay scattered over the floor. Crying came from the crib._

_He couldn't step forward though for Lily's body also lay by the crib. She had one hand still clasping the rungs of the crib, the other gripping onto the collar of her shirt. Her red hair hung like a curtain onto the carpeted floor. The green eyes which had always been full of so much light, were now empty and gazing at the ceiling. _

_Sirius' knees gave out. He felt onto the floor, crying heavily at the loss of his family. He crawled towards the woman, and took her hand in his. She continued to lay there. There was a wetness on her cheeks, and Sirius wondered if they were her tears or if it had rained. _

_Cries continued to come from the crib. Sirius let go of Lily's hand, and rose to his feet. Baby Harry continued to sniffle, but it subsided a great deal when he caught sight of his Godfather. He reached out, arms wide and eager to be held. Sirius did as bided, and took the child against his chest._

_"__Un'le Padfoo" The baby whined. _

_"__Hush child." Sirius patted the boy's head. "You're safe."_

_He looked around the room, searching for any sign of an attacker. Pulling Harry tighter to his chest, he glanced down at Lily's body. _

_"__You're safe Harry." Sirius repeated. "I promise. I will get you somewhere safe."_

_He didn't look back as he took Harry from the house. He made it just to the edge of the lawn when he spotted the large man moving towards him. His fingers itched for his wand, before he recognized the man._

_"__Hagrid!" Sirius called. "What happened?"_

_"__James? Lily?" The half giant asked as he bounded towards him. "Where are they?"_

_ "__Dead." Chocked out Sirius. "What happened?"_

_"__I don't know." Hagrid spoke slowly. He noticed the baby in Sirius' arms. "'Arry? Is he alright? Is he alive?"_

_"__He is." Sirius nodded. "I don't know how but he is."_

_"__Give 'im to me." Hagrid reached out. Sirius drew back, holding the baby closer to his chest. He was relieved at the sound of snores that sprang from the baby. Hagrid noticed the man's distrust and continued speaking. "I've got orders from Dumbledore. To get litt'e 'Arry somewhere safe."_

_"__Where?" Sirius asked. _

_"__Petunia." Hagrid replied. "Lily's sister. 'Arry's to go there."_

_"__No." Sirius growled. "I'll take him. I'm his Godfather. He'll be safer with me than with that woman."_

_"__Dumbledore's orders." Hagrid persisted. "He says that the safest place for 'im."_

_"__Safer than with me?" Sirius muttered. His gaze went onto the child, and for the first time he noticed the strange cut on the boy's forehead. He put the side of his thumb into his mouth, and used it to whip off the blood. The cut remained, and he knew it would scar. All things considered, a little scar was lucky to have been the only thing received._

_Glancing back at the home of his best friends, Sirius finally understood what had taken place. He felt the frown tightening over his lips as he turned back to Hagrid. "Take him. Take Harry. Keep him safe. Please. Keep him safe."_

_Sirius made to set the boy into the other man's arms but stopped. "What was the first prank me and the Marauders pulled on you?"_

_ "__What are ya talkin' 'bout?" Hagrid was taken aback by Sirius' change in demeanor._

_"__I need to know it's you." Sirius fingered his wand. "Before I hand him over."_

_"__Alright." Hagrid nodded. "Ya lot turned all my Flobberworms green."_

_"__Alright." Sirius carefully put baby Harry into Hagrid's arms. The man shifted the child, taking care not to wake him. Sirius turned and began his way down the street. "Take my bike. It'll get you there quick. I don't need it right now."_

_ "__Where are ya going'?" Hagrid called after._

_"__To settle this." Sirius called back over his shoulder. As he stepped off the sidewalk, he apparated out of Godric's Hallow._

-oOo-

The chair grew uncomfortable, and Sirius rose from it. Righting the rags that hung from his body, he laid himself down onto the bed. The feeling of despair was getting closer, as did the dementors. Letting out a deep sigh, Sirius held on to his knowledge of innocence as he laid down on his back.

The ceiling of his cell was so high up that even if he chuckled something with his greatest strength, it would not reach. Sometimes he liked to imagine the stars graced his ceiling. He recounted the constellations he knew, often ending with that of Canis Minor.

It had been too long since he last saw stars. It would have been that Halloween. On the street. With Peter.

-oOo-

_"__PETER!" The cowardly man continued to run from his pursuer. "STOP PETER! YOU COWARD!"_

_Sirius withdrew his wand, not caring how many Muggles were in the street the night. A well placed stunning charm took out Pettigrew's legs. The man stumbled and fell. He turned over so that he could face the other man._

_"__Sirius?" Pettigrew pleaded over the roar of the startled Muggles. "What are… what are you doing?"_

_"__You coward!" Sirius ignored the question as he stalked forward. "How could you? They were your friends? Your family? Why? Why would you do it?_

_Peter began to scoot away. "I don't know what you're talking about!"_

_"__Liar!" Sirius sent a cutting hex towards the man. The spell hit its mark and sliced at the man's check. "You sold them out! Why? Why would you do it?"_

_"__I didn't do anything!" Peter started to cry. "I didn't do anything. It was you!"_

_Sirius froze at Peter's accusation. "It was not me."_

_"__Yes it was." Peter began to look around, his face frantic. "You sold them out! You sold out James and Lily. It was you! You're one of them! A Death Eater! You work for Voldemort. You sold them out! You killed them!"_

_"__It was you!" Sirius reached out, grabbing a hold of Peter's collar. "You did it. You were their Secret Keeper!"_

_"__No I was not!" Peter grabbed at Sirius' hands. His face was dripping in fear, but there sat something dark inside his eyes. "You were their Secret Keeper! You sold them out. Their deaths are on your head!"_

_"__I ought to kill you!" Sirius dug his wand into Peter's neck, the man's hands falling to his side._

_The man grew frantic at this threat. Glancing around at the Muggles, he began to yell for them. "Run! Get out of here! He'll kill you! He'll kill us all!"_

_"__SHUT UP!" Sirius screamed. Tears were beginning to flow freely. "They were friends! Family! And you betrayed them. You let them die! Why? Why?"_

_Sirius should have been paying more mind to what the man he held capture was doing. Peter's fingers wrapped around his wand and he pulled it out from his pocket. With a tight frown, he muttered the spell. It gave just enough force to pry himself loose from Sirius' grasp. Scrambling away, Peter rose to his feet._

_The two men watched one another, wands raised and eyes set. Peter was the first to move. They shot a spell at one another, neither managing to cause enough damage to be fatal. Sirius nursed a cut check, and Peter's arm had been sliced open, but both men were still standing. _

_"__You're a murderer Sirius Black!" Peter screamed. "A murderer!"_

_Those words were enough to cause Sirius to stumble in his attacks. Peter took this to his advantage, and shot several spells at the paved road. The series of explosions rocked the earth, sending several buildings toppling over. Screams filled the air as the Muggles tried their best to further distance themselves from the fray. _

_Sirius did his best to stay up right against the destruction Peter had caused. In his attempts to not fall into the sink holes being formed, he lost sight of the cowardly man. _

_It was only thirty seconds later that the ground stopped shacking. The screams where replaced with cries of those who had been injured or worse. Falling to his knees, Sirius looked at the spot where Peter had just been. A mass of blood marked the road, and a small pale cylinder lay in the middle of it. _

_Before he could investigate further, a sharp pain dug into his spine. Falling face first against the ground, he found someone on top of him. His hands were being bound behind his back, and he swore he heard Moody's voice, but he couldn't be sure. The ringing in his ears was still present._

-oOo-

They hadn't given him a trial. Instead they had dropped him into a cell during the last few minutes of Halloween. The next morning he'd been dragged down into the hole he now spent his life in.

They charged him with murder. The murder of his best friend and wife, and of Pettigrew and twelve Muggles. They said he blew Peter up, all that was left was a singly bloody finger. He was accused of being a Death Eater. Of having sided with Voldemort. They said he sold out his friends. He later read in the Daily Prophet that Fudge had claimed he watched Sirius laugh at the scene. Laugh like a mad man.

Sirius didn't know what had kept him from being given the dementors kiss, with all the charges placed upon him, it made sense that they would give the ultimate punishment. He figured that in order for them to administer the kiss, a trial had to first be held. And nobody wanted a trial. They wanted a scapegoat. They wanted a villain to hate, and Sirius had become that for them.

For the past ten years he had been that.

Watching the ceiling above, Sirius thought back on everything that he had lost. All of his friends were gone, most dead and others might have well have been as they never came for him. His family was gone, both the surrogate and the biological one. His mother had passed a few years after his imprisonment. Andromeda, he heard nothing of. Bellatrix was somewhere in this prison with him, he was sure he could hear her cackling late at night. The Daily Prophet was often giving information on his cousin Narcissa, but every time he saw the Malfoy woman with the filth she called a husband, he wanted to tear up the pages.

There was nothing left for Sirius. Nothing for him to hold on to. Except his knowledge of innocence. That was all Sirius could hold onto any more. That was all he really remembered. He had all but forgotten the feeling of warmth. The light of color. The touch of friendship. He'd all but forgotten what it meant to be alive. To be human really.

He still held the memories in his mind, but every time he thought on them, they only ever brought pain.

The flapping of torn clocks came from outside his cell door. Without rising from the bed, Sirius shifted into his animagus form. The more time he spent in this cell, the mangier he got, it only made him question harder. What had happened to the sleek black dog he'd first seen in the Shrieking Shack? Where were the words of loyalty and compassion when he had allowed his friend to be slaughtered? When he had shoved his wand into the neck of an old friend?

The shaggy black dog curled up into a ball, whimpering slightly as the dementors passed by.


End file.
